Lent- Giving up guilt

Over the years I had pushed off my choice of what to 'give up for Lent' later and later until I was making the choice right on Ash Wednesday without very much thought . Then one year we had reached the First Sunday of Lent and I had not yet selected my task. I racked my brain 'til I remembered something I had not eaten for a few days, Ice Cream, and chose that as my offering, assuming credit for the 5 days that had passed since the season had begun.
When you bend the rules it can become a habit. It became my regular process to delay 'til I realized we were into Lent, then to find some as yet unfulfilled addiction and to continue to deprive myself of it for the rest of the season. Finally, one year I had gone two weeks into Lent and was unable to identify anything I hadn't done. I felt guilty. I didn't know what to do. But the human capacity for rationalization is unlimited. I found my answer: I would give up guilt.
It was a sort of half-hearted effort for the first few days: every time I felt guilty I reminded myself that I had given guilt up for Lent. Although I was Indeed beginning to see how often guilt appeared in my day, and had actually begun to make some changes, deep inside I felt like I was cheating: secretly I still felt guilty. Then one day somebody else did something that disturbed me. I was very angry and they appeared to be unrepentant. I wanted THEM to feel GUILT. Then I remembered. I had given up guilt for Lent. That meant that I needed to give up THEIR guilt as well as my own. Radical! My half-hearted joke had grown teeth. The rest of Lent was quite a journey. I became more and more aware how much of a part guilt played in my life and, through me, in the lives of those around me.
Guilt can be appropriate, helping to make us aware when we are doing something that may harm our spiritual lives. But guilt misapplied can do even more damage than any fault it seeks to identify. Now I try to stay aware of my misuse of guilt through the whole of the year. But when Lent comes around it's just like Spring Training in Baseball: time to practice. And I know exactly what to do: I practice giving up guilt.